Posted November 20, 2009 By MaryS
I am completely devastated by the results of my recent lumpectomy - how I look. I cry constantly at the thought of this loss and how my body has been altered, but at the same time I am overwhelmed by guilt for being so shallow. I know there are many out there who have suffered dramatically more than I, and I should only have cause for gratefulness that my outcome did not end up being any worse, but in my darkest hours I feel angry, hurt and sad by my personal loss. I just need to know that others feel or have felt this way...how did you work through this conflicting emotion?
Posted November 20, 2009 By bailey
Hi MaryS
I can understand how you feel now about your body. I had a bilateral mastectomy almost 5 weeks ago with 25 lymph nodes removed also. I am used to being a 34D and it's different. I am grateful the cancer is gone from my body too but where they removed the lymph nodes there is a puffy area with an indent, I think it could be extra skin left. Doesn't look nice at all. I'm hoping it will get better as time goes on. I'm only 104 lbs. so it's not like I had tons of extra skin. I think it's from when they cut the nerves and remove fat under the skin to remove the lymph nodes? I know how you feel. My hair and body changed so much over the last few months.
I'm guessing in time it will get better.
Take care and know that you are not alone in the way you feel.
I hope I helped a little!
Posted March 17, 2010 By gwencm
The overwhelming feelings of anger, guilt of having cancer (like I caused it and now look what has happened to my body), and the dark hours of dispare came early in my diagnosis. There is no getting past it but to share as much as you can with those who love and support you. My doctors and other survivors have all been consistent in saying...talk to anyone who will listen and always take the help that is offered no matter how small. Coming from a helping profession I was always looked after everyone in my life. Now others are there for me...it is different but really important for me to accept the kindness and love from others now. It has helped tremendously and I don't feel so alone anymore.
Warm regards
Posted March 19, 2010 By gwencm
Hi MaryS,
I would like to hear from you and looked for your posting here. Please let me know how you are. Warm regards, gwencm
Posted April 8, 2010 By EAMcDonald
We are in a world where our appearence is what we are taught is primary....not what we think, not who we are, not our acts of kindness - And most of the people we are measuring ourselves against are altered by doctored photography or plastic surgery...find yourself...bald is beautiful...seriously...but mostly the greatest beauty is a smile.
Elizmcd
Posted May 3, 2010 By gina
Oh I'm so glad you posted this message. I also feel so awful. I had two partial mastectomies, and my breast is now so disfigured. I found out last week that I have to have a mastectomy. I'm trying to wrap my head around it. I keep looking at pictures on the internet. I just feel that a part of me is gone and I feel guilty for feeling like that too, because after reading comments, there are worse things that can happen. I cry alot, but I am also going through alot of anxiety.
