Posted November 14, 2009 By memichaud
I'm a 30 year old breast cancer survivor. I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 29. I've had a lumpectomy, chemotherapy, radiation and brachytherapy. Throughout this past year from the time I was diagnosed to my last treatment 10 1/2 months later I've been really upbeat, positive about the whole thing. Why is it that now that everyhting is said and done am I starting to freak out?!? I am sooooo terrified of having to do this again. I know, be positive, I have been but I have this feeling... that things aren't done. Am I alone out here feeling like this?
Posted November 15, 2009 By Michelle
Hi
I am no where near done my course of treatment; I've had a lumpectomy, done 2 out of the 6 rounds of chemo and still have a mastectomy, radiation and tamoxifen to go. But... I can tell you this, I am freaked now off and on. I am terrified to have to through this again... I really feel I would not emotionally survive a reccurence. I keep making bargains with the universe; I will march through this and be strong but, please don't let this happen to me again. So, I can completly understand you feeling that way. I cannot relate to being at the end of the journey because I am barely half way through mine. I just wanted you to know you are not alone and your message resonated with me.
Posted November 19, 2009 By julia
Strange....I just finished chemo and all of a sudden, I'm just constantly thinking about reoccurence. It doesn't help that I am on the internet every night reading about other people's journeys, most having a reoccurence. I know it is natural to go thru this phase and the rad. oncologist told me everyone thinks of it. Once you finish a huge part of treatment, like chemo, you just feel so vulnerable. I will be on Tamoxifen and will be doing radiation in January but it scares me that once you get it back , it c ould be mets. Once you have mets, its just a matter of quality of life, no chance of a being cured anymore. The oncol. basically told me that if you get a local reoccurence, doctors can still help you but not with reoccurence in the bones, lungs, liver, or brain. I know I have to think more positively, as I have 3 small children, but it is sooooo very difficult. I am seeing a councellor next week and I hope she can help talk me thru it. All the best.
Posted November 16, 2009 By windinthewillows
It's been a while for me but I do remember suddenly feeling so uncertain about everything! When I was in active treatment I was like a little robot...do what you have to do...go to the appointments...take the meds...and then suddenly - nothing! I was finished. It was almost like breaking up with my cancer pals and I was scared. I think it is pretty normal to feel that way. You are starting out on a new phase in your life again and it can be scary. I think it helps just to be ohonest about it and tell people you are scared. I had a great social worker who I called a couple of times after I left treatment and she understood. Good luck. You can't worry about what may or may not happen. Just try to take each day as it comes. Some will be bad but most of them will be good!
